When life becomes difficult many of us become their own enemies. We use ourselves into hardness, remember our mistakes again and again and do not give importance to ourselves. But what happens if the truth of peace and power is hidden inside a soft thing? Self compassion, it is a superpower that changes your way of life.
What is self compassion
Self compassion means that you treat yourself such as you treat your best friend. Because of this you accept that you are a human and have a gentle attitude for yourself at moments of pain and failure.
Doctor Kristin Neff, who is the researcher of the topic, tells there are three important parts of self compassion.
- Self kindness: try to be kind and forgive yourself instead of harshness and criticism.
- Common humanity: try to understand this that mistakes are part of life, you are not alone.
- Mindfulness: do not exaggerate your emotions nor ignore them, only observe them.
When we combine these three parts then we make a safe inner peace where healing and growth is possible.
Connection between self compassion and inner peace
Inner peace doesn't mean escape from problems. It is a name to find calmness inside yourself, besides this how much your life is messy. Self compassion helps in this process because it softens the voice that only criticizes.
- Reduce stress: when you skip attacking yourself for every mistake then stress level decreases.
- Emotional balance: you start to see problems as challenges instead of failures.
- Better mental health: studies say self compassion decreases anxiety, depression and self doubt.
That's why many psychologists say self compassion is a tool for emotional resilience.
Self compassion VS Self Esteem
Many people confuse self compassion with self esteem. Bahut hard important but not same.
Self esteem meaning is that how much value you give to yourself, it depends on success, appearance or performance.
Self compassion can be defined as your attitude towards yourself.
If you fail in your exam or are terminated from job then self esteem level can be dropped. But in case of self compassion you have soft attitude toward yourself.
How to practice self compassion?
- Talk to yourself just like a friend.
- Notice your inner critic.
- Do mindful breathing.
- Write a compassion letter for yourself.
- Must remember that you are not alone.
Myths about self compassion
- It weakens you.
- It is a reason to make excuses.
- It makes you selfish.
In fact these all are wrong. Self compassion makes you strong, honest and caring.
Science behind self compassion
Researchers say that those who practice self compassion regularly have better life than others. They feel happiness and satisfaction. They have less stress and anxiety issues. They also have a perfect physical health. They make healthy relationships.
Daily life examples
- Work: in case of any mistake think that mistakes are part of life, I will perform better next time.
- Relationship: during fight think that I will talk calmly.
- Health goals: if you miss your workout then think that one day does not destroy progress.
Long term inner peace
- Less pressure.
- More patience.
- Strong confidence.
- Stable happiness.
Final thoughts
World gives reward to tough people but real power is self compassion that makes inner peace. When you choose kindness instead of criticize, patience instead of pressure, and understanding instead of judgement then you transform internally.
Next time when you will be broken internally then do not fight with yourself, say slowly it's right I am also a human, I will try again.
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